"Wishes from a Bereaved Mother's Heart"
* I wish you would not be afraid to mention my baby. The truth is, just because you never saw my baby doesn't mean he or she doesn't deserve your recognition.
* I wish that if we did talk about my baby and I cried you didn't think it was because you have hurt me by mentioning my baby. The truth is, I need to cry and talk about my baby with you. Crying and emotional outbursts help me heal.
* I wish you would talk about my baby more than once. The truth is, if you do, it re***ures me that you haven't forgotten and that you do care and understand.
* I wish you wouldn't think that I don't want to talk about my baby. The truth is, I love my baby and need to talk about him or her.
* I wish you could tell me you are sorry my baby has died and that your thinking of me. The truth is, it tells me you care.
* I wish you wouldn't think that what has happened is a big, bad memory for me. The truth is, the memory of my baby, the love I feel for my baby, the dreams I had and memories I have created for my baby are all loving memories. Yes, there are bad memories too, but please understand it's not all like that.
* I wish you wouldn't pretend my baby never existed. The truth is, we both know I had a baby growing inside me.
* I wish you wouldn't judge me because I'm not acting the way you think I should. The truth is, grief is a very personal thing and we are all different people who deal with things differently.
* I wish you wouldn't think if I have a good day I'm "over it" or if I have a bad day I am being unreasonable because you think I should be over it. The truth is, there is not "normal" way for me to act.
* I wish you wouldn't stay away from me. The truth is, loosing my baby doesn't mean I'm contagious. By staying away you make me feel isolated, confused and like it is my fault.
* I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be "over and done with" in a few weeks, or months, or years for that matter. The truth is, it may get easier with time, but I will never be "over" this.
* I wish you wouldn't think that my baby wasn't really a baby and it was just blood or tissue or a fetus. The truth is, my baby was a human life. My baby had a soul, a body, legs, arms, and a face. My baby was a real person.
* My baby's due date, Mother's Day, celebration times, and the day I lost my baby are all important and sad days for me. The truth is, I wish you could tell by words or by letter you are thinking of me on these days.
* I wish you understood that loosing my baby has changed me. The truth is, I am not the same person I was before and will never be that person again. If you keep waiting for me to get back to "normal" you will stay frustrated. I am a new person with new thoughts, dreams, beliefs and values. Please try to get to know the real me -- maybe you'll still like me.
* I wish you wouldn't tell me I could have another baby. The truth is, I want the baby I lost and no other baby can replace this baby. Babies aren't interchangeable. Besides, you do not know whether we have fertility problems too.
* I wish you wouldn't feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about my baby or near me. When you do, I can see it. The truth is, it's not fair to make me feel uncomfortable just because you are.
* I wish you wouldn't think that you can stay away because all my friends and family will be there for me. The truth is, everyone thinks the same thing and I am often left with no one.
* I wish you would understand that being around pregnant women is uncomfortable for me. The truth is, I feel jealous.
* I wish you wouldn't say that it's "nature's way" of telling me something was wrong with the baby. The truth is, my baby was perfect to me no matter what you think nature is saying.
* I wish you would understand what you are really saying when you say "next time things will be okay. "The truth is, how do you know??"
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